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xkcd: Love

xkcd

“Or love in general for that matter. It just leads to the idea that either your love is pure, perfect and eternal, and you are storybook-compatible in every way with no problems, or you’re LYING when you say ‘I love you.'”

Bleh

I need to stop eating. In general. Also, just so poorly. Luckily the way I dress covers up my physique quite nicely, but I don’t want to have that be the motivation for dressing the way I do (post about getting into fashion to come). I’m afraid that quitting smoking will make me gain weight. But I really didn’t smoke enough to lose that much weight to begin with, if any. I guess we’ll see. Until then, however, I am going to stop eating pizza and cheetos and drinking pop and juices all the time. Enough of that. It’s gross.

Hey Marquette

Today seemed unreal. Nothing really happened. I woke up. Went to class. Went to a review session. And now it’s 9:20. I am not sure I like days like this. But also, I hate having something that I need to do everyday. Maybe I just like being unhappy.

My school life certainly isn’t helping with anything. I don’t understand how everyone hates philosophy and theology. You would think that at a school as large as Marquette, I would run into at least one like-minded individual. I have yet to meet anyone who truly shares similar interests. And it’s weird. I can imagine so many scenarios of how my “friends” and I would hang out and interact and stuff. The only problem is that there aren’t any friends. It’s not a big issue since the scenarios in my mind are like a movie or something, so it’s not like I’m missing anything substantial. I just find it odd that seemingly no one is like me.

This isn’t meant to be self-aggrandizing. Just an observation. I am not saying that people should try to be like me. It’s just that no one is. Oh well.

New Beginning

So, we’re going to try this again. But this time I am not going to take myself so seriously. I was painfully aware of how hard I was trying and that just made the mediocre results all the more disheartening. So, for now, this blog will just be me writing about stupid stuff. I hope it doesn’t turn into something like some of the blogs I read. We’ll see I guess.

Untitled

I can’t push people out of my life anymore. People will naturally fall out of it. And I am okay with that, I really am. But I am starting to realize that through my terrible self control and my conscience I cannot take an active role in it anymore. So, let’s go on, and let the dice fall where they may.

My job is not something worth talking about. It is really just a way to get through college, so I think I would tell people I am a professional student before anything else.

So far, the best thing about college has been the doors it has opened. Actually, no. They aren't doors. Especially at this point in my life, I can do nothing but think about them. I am talking about the ideas that are presented to me from conversation with those much older (maybe not 'much') and wiser than myself.

The schooling itself has done little in terms of the overall value the educational system is supposed to carry, so far. I mean, I do enjoy learning things, but for me, college can't be all about a continued path of learning. I plan to be in the world of acadamia for quite a while (all my life), so for now, the most important thing I can pull from college is the doors, no, not doors, windows, telescopes, perhaps, that it allows me to see.

Just recently I was talking to a fascinating professor of American History. In the most enlightening moment of the past few months of my life (maybe longer), I realized that I might want to be a librarian. The satisfaction that came from having some semblance of organization in my life far outweighed the benefit that I have seen so far out of the learning part of college.

It is this redirecting of my being that I think I like most about my job.

Excerpts

Nothing here follows. Cars, houses, even trees and grass flow past me as I go. Only the stars and moon moves with me.

I belong to the sky.